Translation in English from the previous excerpt of Proust :
Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Combray, save what was comprised
in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence
for me, when one day in winter, as I came home, my mother, seeing that I
was cold, offered me some tea, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined
at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent out
for one of those short, plump little cakes called 'petites madeleines,' which
look as though they had been moulded in the fluted scallop of a pilgrim's
shell. And soon, mechanically, weary after a dull day with the prospect of
a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I
had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid, and the crumbs
with it, touched my palate, a shudder ran through my whole body, and I stopped,
intent upon the extraordinary changes that were taking place. An exquisite
pleasure had invaded my senses, but individual, detached, with no suggestion
of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent
to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory--this new sensation
having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious
essence; or rather this essence was not in me, it was myself. I had ceased
now to feel mediocre, accidental, mortal. Whence could it have come to me,
this all-powerful joy? I was conscious that it was connected with the taste
of tea and cake, but that it infinitely transcended those savours, could
not, indeed, be of the same nature as theirs. Whence did it come? What did
it signify? How could I seize upon and define it? [...]
Undoubtedly what is thus palpitating in the depths of my being must be the
image, the visual memory which, being linked to that taste, has tried to
follow it into my conscious mind. But its struggles are too far off, too
much confused; scarcely can I perceive the colourless reflection in which
are blended the uncapturable whirling medley of radiant hues, and I cannot
distinguish its form, cannot invite it, as the one possible interpreter,
to translate to me the evidence of its contemporary, its inseparable paramour,
the taste of cake soaked in tea; cannot ask it to inform me what special
circumstance is in question, of what period in my past life.
Will it ultimately reach the clear surface of my consciousness, this memory,
this old, dead moment which the magnetism of an identical moment has travelled
so far to importune, to disturb, to raise up out of the very depths of my
being? I cannot tell. Now that I feel nothing, it has stopped, has perhaps
gone down again into its darkness, from which who can say whether it will
ever rise? Ten times over I must essay the task, must lean down over the
abyss. And each time the natural laziness which deters us from every difficult
enterprise, every work of importance, has urged me to leave the thing alone,
to drink my tea and to think merely of the worries of to-day and of my hopes
for to-morrow, which let themselves be pondered over without effort or distress
of mind.
And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of
madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings
I did not go out before church-time), when I went to say good day to her
in her bedroom, my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in
her own cup of real or of lime-flower tea. The sight of the little madeleine
had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it; perhaps because I had
so often seen such things in the interval, without tasting them, on the trays
in pastry-cooks' windows, that their image had dissociated itself from those
Combray days to take its place among others more recent; perhaps because
of those memories, so long abandoned and put out of mind, nothing now survived,
everything was scattered; the forms of things, including that of the little
scallop-shell of pastry, so richly sensual under its severe, religious folds,
were either obliterated or had been so long dormant as to have lost the power
of expansion which would have allowed them to resume their place in my
consciousness. But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after
the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, still, alone,
more fragile, but with more vitality, more unsubstantial, more persistent,
more faithful, the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like
souls, ready to remind us, waiting and hoping for their moment, amid the
ruins of all the rest; and bear unfaltering, in the tiny and almost impalpable
drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection.
(thanks to : www.fisheaters.com/proust.html )
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